I am in a vortex of obligation.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
