It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize