Someone shit on the floor
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
