Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
