did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
