And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
