Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize