So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
