used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
zippers are such a cool invention
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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