I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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