My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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