Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
