I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize