Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
