she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
