i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
