Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
