My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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