roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
well you can't waste a boner
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We just shotgunned beers for America
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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