If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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