I just made out with a guy for $7.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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