there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
