my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I have fence marks all over my body
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
