My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
