I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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