we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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