The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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