So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
