did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
