I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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