This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
