i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
how does that bad decision feel?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
