This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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