you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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