my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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