At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
