I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
