nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
