life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
