He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
