I feel like I'm in dance class right now
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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