Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
