Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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