is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
