im drinking this country out of the recession.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
