no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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