thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
