Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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