What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
