How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Enjoy the penises
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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