Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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