the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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