Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
