Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
