She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
All the doctor said was why
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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