so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
