I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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