mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm sobbing to NWA
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize