I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize