she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
