i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
