Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
