Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize