Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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