Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltš
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote āColleenās Dickāwith a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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