I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
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