I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
