I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
