Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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