Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
