brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
