do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I could fuck to npr.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize