we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
