Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
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