I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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