FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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