never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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