I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
